What a Handsome Little Devil...

Henry had his nine month photos at Target a while ago. I guess it would be when he was nine months old. This is his 'business casua' look. The photographer thought it would add an element of whimsy if he was barefoot. Brilliant.

Here is his Target copyrighted photo...

Becoming Mr. Furley (Sans Footwear)

With the wedding season briskly approaching, Henry was in dire need of appropriate formal wear. A guy needs one solid suit he can wear for such occassions. I finally settled on this circa 1977 gem from the Unique Thrift Store. I am still trying to locate some patent leather footwear in his size to go with the suit. There just isn't much out there... He should really have a moustache, too. However, I think that is simply out of the question. Is it just me or does he look like a mini-Mr. Furley from Threes Company?

Henry has started using this little rubber duckie as a nuk.

Food & Feet

Momma has decided it would be best to give the Hankster a more active role in his eating. Here is his first attempt to feed himself. I hope the messy-faced baby pictures aren't becoming too "old hat".

Hmmm, yogurt. Not bad.

Here he is checking out the goods in our fridge.

Don't mind if I do...

This is a picture of Crystal's swollen pregnancy feet which I was instructed to put on this blog dealie. Glad I am a dude.

*Lately, Henry wants to get his day started at about 5:30 am. We are tired.

*Momma's last day of teaching for the year is Thursday, so I am done working from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

*Henry is still getting over a wicked cold. He made it through cold season, but let his guard down when it was 90 degrees outside. Sweet. We have finally discovered that sick babies are not so fun.

*So, so tired...very tired.

Henry Eats June Bug

I was told that Henry ate a june bug today. That's my boy...

Loungin'

Here is Henry hatching his escape plan from his kiddie pool at the Memorial Day bash. We have since invested in "swimmer" diapers. The regular ones take on about 148 ounces of water and look very comical once completely saturated. Eventually we just let him go skinny dippin'.

Happy Ten Month Birthday to the Master of the Sippy Cup

Most sincere apologies to my readership (all 11 of you) for my lackodaisical blogging practices as of late. Kinda busy lately.


Henry is showing true mastery of the sippy cup. We have trained him to say "ahh" after he takes a pull of water from his sippy cup. It is dang cute, too.

As you can see, Henry is still just rocking the two teeth.

Tonite, after I stripped Henry down for his evening bath, I took nude Henry out into the living room to say hi to mama and said "Hey, Henry has something to say to you" -- just then Henry peed all over the living room floor. I laughed so hard that it startled the little feller and he stopped mid-stream. Good times...

Henry Spends Evening at Cabin with Friends, Wins Hearts & Minds

We took Henry on a little overnight trip up north at a friends cabin last weekend. All things considered, things went pretty well and Henry was a well-behaved young man. He is a good little traveler. Here are a couple more pictures...

The boys went fishing and the girls... ate bacon... and Cheetos.

A Young Hugh Hefner...

Henry got this terry cloth smoking robe from Grammy Judy. I am not sure if there is supposed to be bottoms for it or what the deal is exactly, but Henry is free as the breeze in this thing. As you can see, the photo has been slightly manipulated to obscure his bits and pieces. The look on his face is priceless. It's like he knows he's being mildly exploited for our amusement and he doesn't like it.

Here's another good one. The other day Henry was digging around in his little toy box and really had his heart set on a peek-a-block way in the corner on the bottom. He kept a-reachin' and a- stretchin' and then his feet would leave the ground and he would teeter back and forth. He never quite got that peek-a-block but I could not help but admire his tenacity and zeal.

He is getting just plain dangerous with his constantly pulling himself up to a standing position. He hasn't figured out what to do after he is standing, which has resulted in many bumps and bruises.

Coming Soon: The New Johnson Family Compound

Henry has demanded more suitable living conditions. Some of you folks might not know -- but we are building a new home (aka the compound) this fall on ten acres yonder north a bit from Chisago City . There is no turning back now, since we just put our house up for sale and it sold on the first showing. To make things worse, I will serve as the general contractor in my "free time". Things could get ugly. Here are some pictures of our "spread".

It is about half wooded and half pasture and it even has a large permanent puddle that could be confused for a pond. It has a bunch of different types of trees -- lots of cedars and some maples. Here is a picture of a big old Tim Burton-style maple tree that is in our woods:

This is the field. I have been tossing around the idea of getting some livestock. Possibly a chicken or two, maybe a turkey named Gobbles. We own clear back to the tree line, roughly 1,320 feet.

The house will feature timber framing enclosed with structural insulated panel walls. Timber framing is an age-old technique utilizing mortise and tenon joinery and really big timbers. It looks sweet. Below is a picture of a timber frame similar to the one we will have, except ours will have a two car garage and a little mud room attached so mama doesn't yell at me to take off my shoes. The structural insulated panels are sweet because they offer an R-value 40% to 60% higher than that of a conventionally wood framed house. Basically, that means I could produce enough gas to heat the house for a year if you gave me a case of Natural Ice Light and a jar of pickled fish. But seriously, really low heating bills.

This is kinda what it should look like looking up from the great room...

I hope Henry and mama like it and I really hope this whole deal doesn't drive me to the point of dementia or financial ruin.

In other recent developments, Henry boasts an astounding two word vocabulary. He says "dada" or "dad" quite a bit, although I still don't think he means it. He also says a word that sorta sounds like "fish sticks". This is strange since we don't recall ever saying fish sticks to him or within earshot of him. It could simply be a testament to his genius.

Also, on the traumatic side, mama was feeding him zwieback toast the other day and he started choking on a little piece for about ten seconds.

In conclusion, we sold our house, are building a new one, and are getting a turkey named Gobbles. Also, zwieback toast is a total menace and is being considered for banishment from our house.

What a Wookie...

I thought it was time to start Henry on his vintage T-shirt collection. Here is Henry looking sophisticated and extravagent in a Chewbacca Return of the Jedi shirt circa 1983. He thought it was too cool to even wear -- but I insisted.

Is it just me, or has his nose taken on a permanent orange tint from extreme consumption of squash, peaches, sweet potatoes, and all things orange?

In other recent developments, Henry has begun to show his mastery of the sippy cup. He also has been really keen on the thingie in the picture below. You cram-a-lam little fruit chunks and what not in it and he gnaws on it.

Henry has been a little bit crabby and snotty the past few days. All indications point to his first cold. Poor little dude. As a result, Henry and I have struck a gentlemen's agreement regarding alternative temperature taking practices. No can do, no can do.

Henry and the Amazing Green Milk Crate

I call this photo shoot "The Child Endangerment Series". It maybe looks a little worse than it really was. We just went real slow up and down the driveway -- just like Rainman. Henry loved it. He was howling.

Then we would take a little break and hang out for a while...

Then we would cruise a little bit more.

Henry had his nine month check-up today. I am happy to report that Henry is a doctor inspected and approved happy and healthy baby (pending the results of the blood tests to check his hemoglobin and make sure he hasn't been feasting on lead paint chips!). Henry is 18 pounds and 7 ounces of twisted steel and unbridled fury (this falls into the 25% level). His height is a staggering 30 inches, or two feet and six inches (90%). The doctor called him a string bean a couple times but said he is a totally healthy little guy. His head circumfrence is an amazing 47 centimeters.

Henry's TV Repair

Henry has been taking a correspondence course in TV & VCR Repair from the Dunwoody Institute.

Let me see here, looks like a 19 inch Sony Trinitron circa 1993.
I'm just going to test the tensile strength of this here coaxial cable.

Hmmm, and what is this tasty morsel??

Henry is nine months old now. He has his nine month check up later this week. He has been saying "Dad" quite a bit lately and has been repeating sounds that we make.

In the True Spirit of Easter

Henry juggled two Easter dinners over the weekend. We had dinner with the wife's family on Saturday. After the ham dinner and after five bottles and one box of wine , the scene was reminiscent of the Jonestown Massacre -- half empty glasses and semi-conscious bodies strewn everywhere. Sheesh. Needless to say, Sunday was quite a bit more sedate. After the smoke cleared, Henry made off with three Easter baskets. We gave him two unusually proportioned plush rabbits that seem to scare the bejeezus out of him. Witness:

Henry is crawling around with the greatest of ease and continues to test our babyproofing skills. He is gradually expanding his palate with the baby food and it even seems like most of it makes it to his mouth now. He is growing so fast and really fills out his overalls like a corn-fed Iowa farm boy. It has been fun, as the weather has been getting nice, to take him outside and allow him to experience new things. We had a picnic out on the front lawn the other day. He would grab a dried leaf with his little fingers and look at it with great bewilderment for a few moments before attempting to eat it.

Dad, on a serious note, could you please get this creepy bunny off of my shoulder.

Henry with Strolling Cap

HE GOES BY KLONDIKE HANK - CONSIDER HIM A DANGER & A PUBLIC MENACE

It seems like the milestones and miracles just keep on piling up. I guess the daycare lady said he pulled himself up to a standing position today. No foolin'. It is tough work trying to keep up with him nowadays. It seems like the theme music from The Benny Hill Show should be playing in the background from the moment I wake up until it is night-night time as I chase after him in my feeble attempts to avert disasters. This morning I caught him trying to eat out of the dog dish. You have to watch these babies like a hawk. To put it in perspective, my wife and I are somehow managing to do what takes a team of a dozed trained and untrained professionals to do for Brittany Spears -- and it seems like we may even be doing it to a greater degree of success.

Uncle Sammy got him this shirt along with a matching pair of shorts as gift. It was handmade by villagers in a remote area of Mexico, accessible only by a guided donkey ride. It is reported to be made of local materials and fine organic dyes.

Notice Henry isn't smiling. I think it is because he is intensely focused on what type of shenanigans he can employ to wreak havoc on his Papa's daily life.

Also, Henry just started clicking his tongue. A while back, the doctor said that clicking the tongue is a sign that his speech is getting more advanced and that he should be starting to put some words together soon thereafter.

On a sad footnote, June Pointer, of The Pointer Sisters, passed away recently. I find solace as I imagine she and Don Knotts doing The Neutron Dance at the pearly gates.

Motorin'

Henry is seriously mobile. There is now a constant element of danger in our household. The little guy is gobbling dust bunnies, animal dander, dead leaves from our poisonous house plants, and other things both known and unknown. He is tumbling and flopping around. He has a minor bruise above his eye from a slight fall he took this afternoon on dad's watch. I feel like he should be fitted for a helmet or something. Do they make such a thing for babies? 'Cause this is the only helmet I have and he tips over if I put it on him.

Our world has been turned upside down--it's total and utter chaos. Everything in our house has to be tested and reconfigured. He loves to pull and suck on cords and cables, too. He's been throwing up more lately and I'm not sure if it's because of his increased activity or if it's from ingesting mysterious household substances. We performed a major cleaning of the house today out of fear. Lots of bleach was used.

If we turn our backs for one second, Henry will take off into a forbidden area of the house. Below, Henry inspects the area surrounding the toilet bowl. Not good.

He is one bad motor scooter.

Developing Story: CRAWLING

Henry is crawling. He did about four consecutive crawl steps on a few different occassions in the basement this morning. He absolutely loves remote controls. So I set him down on the carpet and put a remote control about six feet in front of him and off he went. He still has to fine tune his skills a bit. However, I am confident in making this announcement official. This should come as sweet relief to our daycare lady who has had to constantly keep toys within arms reach so the H-train didn't start crawling on her watch.

I got a little video but I don't have the technological know-how to provide a link or what not to that. I also don't have any new photos. So, today is a hospital retrospective... what a handsome little chap, huh?

Crap, now we really have to baby proof the house --and probably keep it clean too. We have some dust bunnies lurking that are the size of a medium grapefruit. And outlet covers... man, I gotta get on the ball.

*WARNING* -- Kinda Cutesy

If you had a basket filled with baby kittens in a field of daisies (as a unicorn grazes in the distance), the level of cuteness that has been attained by this photograph would not be surpassed. This is our little guy sharing a tender moment with his daycare sweetheart Alison. Maybe we'll start calling him Tender Vittles.

The bar has been raised. The standard for baby cuteness will be measured against this photo for years to come.

*Photo taken by daycare lady and blatantly used without permission. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Here is slightly less cute picture of Henry in his "old man" long undies.

Hair. Long beautiful hair...

Henry "Imelda" James

Henry has very much fallen into an Imelda Marcos-type existence. Including his recent Bobux acquisition, he has managed to accumulate three pairs of amazing shoes in the past two weeks and a staggering two pairs in the past two days. I may have to implement a rotation of some sort just to accomadate his new wealth of footwear. Henry was generously given these super cool sheepskin booties from from one of his many internet fans (thanks again LA!). They were a total smash among the people at the coffee shop this morning. For reasons beyond explanation, the little guy seems to have a particularly hypnotizing effect on the ladies. Ladies want him, men want to be him - Henry James Johnson...

They make him feel good...

They look good...

And, I guess they don't taste too bad either... For some reason, I see him wearing either a loin cloth or possibly some type of Nordic Viking get-up with these booties. I'm working on it.

Here is his other cool new pair of shoes. Decadent, yet exuding a casual elegance. Mom simply couldn't resist buying these for him as an early Easter present. Damn you zappos.com!

They are a little big , so no action photos yet. These will be for jamming on his half-pipe.