RED ALERT! I WILL DESTROY YOU!

We attended two graduation galas last weekend. All things considered, the kids did pretty good. Although, I believe Henry and Violet screamed and cried from Waconia to about Forest Lake on the way home. We kept thinking they were going to pass out any second, but they just kept going and going...

Here's my babies. I am not exaggerating when I say Violet normally has her finger in her nose. I think she gets that from momma. Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I catch her picking her nose but she says she is just scratching it.
Two obvious observations -- she can put her fist in her mouth and this gal LOVES her some spaghetti.

Henry loves lawn ornaments. Lawn ornaments that spew water? Double bonus.

Violet is really turning into a Daddy's girl. Sometimes when I come home from work she gets overcome with emotion and bursts into tears. I have a bunch of trails mowed around the ranch now and I take her on my shoulders for walks. We've been seeing lots of deer lately. A while back I saw the largest snapping turtle I have ever seen in my life -- I would say about fifty pounds or so. The neighbor stopped over a few days ago and showed us pictures of a black bear cub eating out of their bird feeders. Nature!
Grandpa Fred and Henry enjoy a friendly game of ejector seat...

Henry loves to talk like a robot now and has become increasingly impressive at talking trash. I may have to have a talk with him about it before things get really out of hand. You have to imagine him saying this in robot cadence: "RED ALERT! I WILL DE-STROY YOU! AND PUT DIRT AND SAND IN YOUR EYEBALLS AND FLUSH YOU DOWN THE TOILET!"

Captain Fantastic

It has been a long week at El Rancho Johnson. Violet came down with a wicked fever last Sunday and peaked at 104.2 degrees. She barely slept all night and just kind of moaned and cried. The fact that she has two teeth cutting through on top didn't help either. I stayed home with her on Monday and took her to the hospital to make sure she didn't have the plague or anything serious. Momma stayed home on Tuesday. She hasn't really eaten much all week. She doesn't have a fever anymore, but is still basically a goobering hot mess.

Here she is during happier times enjoying a stroll down the driveway with momma. We bought Henry some really sweet new shades so Violet could take possession of the Captain Fantastic glasses. He will wear his new ones but he still prefers the Captain Fantastic look.




Last year we planted some tulip bulbs near our driveway entrance. We also have some lilacs and some other junk flowering at our place. I think summer is here. Only sixteen more days until days start to get shorter. Yah, Minnesota!

Here's a classy picture of my special lady two knuckles deep.
Henry clogged up the toilet for the first time last week. The impressive thing is that is was pure logs -- no toilet paper. How does a thirty pound toddler lay a turd the size of a state fair cucumber? I was puzzled. There are no easy answers... It reminded me of the scene in Anchorman when Baxter ate a whole wheel of cheese and Ron Burgandy just said "heck, I'm not even mad -- that's amazing."
Here is Henry chewing on a knife with a pirate-style doo rag and his favorite sweat pants.

Last Saturday night we had both kids stay overnight at Grandma Judy's so we could go to a wedding party. It was the first time since we had the kids that we had overnight babysitting. It was really nice to have a night out with actual grown ups and also not to have to wake up to Henry screaming "I wants me some cartoonies and milkie, STAT!!" Momma had a particularly joyous time cutting loose and what not.

Henry has recently figured out puzzles and really loves 'em. He will do the same one over and over again. I guess that is more fun than a jar of rocks.

Violet is still not quite walking.