Dental Hygeine, Sled Rides, Successful Goat Husbandry: The Splendor of a Country Gentleman

Dental hygeine is kind of a big deal and we are happy to see Violet brushing her two teeth with such gusto and vigor. She seems so excited. Henry, on the other hand, looks to be just going through the motions...

We pulled the kids around in a sled last weekend. That is what we do for fun at El Rancho Goat. I'm looking into making a potatoe gun this summer. That would be fun...

I love how Violet has a little smile and is peeping at the camera with one eye.

Into the woods...

Ahhhh, Henry... Hang on to your sister...

I just wanted to throw this one in to the mix to prove that I have indeed managed to keep the goats alive and healthy for several months now. Once the great thaw begins I think I am going to upgrade the facilities for these little guys.

Henry is a serious thinker and debater now. When we say something, he will often say "what does that mean?" or "why?"

If you ask him the time he will likely reply "um thirty". I think "um thirty" is more of a state of mind.

Momma put him down for a nap once and after a while he started yelling that he was done with his nap 'cuz he had "already slept four ounces".

I installed two closet rods this weekend. Two closet rods. Violet already has , like, seven party dresses.

Good Stuff

A select group of people should hopefully receive this in the mail today. We are personally a little shocked at how similar in size the two hands are. Violet is growing so fast.

It is hard to keep track of all the weird and hilarious things Henry says now. Momma has been writing some of them down in his baby book.

The other day Henry was hanging out with me and I said "dang it". He repeated it and I told him "you probably shouldn't say that". He looked at me and said "or shit, right dad?"

Yes, son...

Momma had me run and get the camera since it is so rare to catch Henry standing still, let alone snuggling. Neither of the kids seem to be big snugglers.

Violet is becoming more mobile each day. However, she still needs constant monitoring as she will sometimes spontaneously sit up and throw herself backwards, causing pain and discomfort. She is at that stage where she gets really mad and screams and cries if momma or myself goes out of her sight.

Last summer we let Henry try ice cream and he didn't want anything to do with it. That was then and this is now.

At a half-gallon a week, I consume about 26 gallons of Eddy's ice cream per annum. Pretty gross when you do the math. It has become custumary for me and wife to eat a huge bowl of ice cream and watch Biggest Loser. I guess everybody needs at least one vice, if only to be reminded that they are human. If I had a normal level of metabolism I would probably look like one of those people you that becomes trapped in their bedroom and gets personal phone calls from Richard Simmons. Eventually, I would have to be rescued by a chainsaw-weilding EMT crew and hauled off to the hospital on a flatbed truck for emergency surgery on a must see episode of the Sally Jesse Rapheal program.

Henry learned how to put his pants on all by himself after going potty. He just has a few kinks to work out on his technique. I couldn't help but think of Kriss Kross...

Momma grabbed the camera and snapped a picture because she thought it was too cute that Henry had his arm around me. The past few days he has been going outside with me to do chores. We take the dog for a little walk, then we tend to the goats, then I chop firewood and Henry helps stack it on the sled so we can bring it inside. Elm is very gnarly and difficult to split as firewood, but it seems to be easier in the extreme cold for some reason. I love when Henry says "choppin' wood". In light of recent events such as the jammie fire of '08, I make sure to have Henry stand WAY far away -- in case you were worried...

Earlier this week, on a particularly cold evening, we were sitting in the goat pen watching the goats eat. Henry said, "Dad, the goats need a mommy and daddy."

Henry made his eyes look all funny and said "Look, I'm Picasso!". It's a joke from Toy Story, one of his favorite films of all-time.

He was looking at the udders on one of his plastic cows and said "Mom, how come cows have two penises?"

Henry can be real chippy sometimes and at different times when he doesn't get his way has threatened to "put me in the garbabe" or "throw me in the fire" .

We have been teaching him to say "oh snap!" to help keep him from repeating swears and what not. There is nothing more amusing than hearing a toddler yell "oh snap!" after dropping one of his guys or something.

Highlights of Irresponsible Parenting and Other Gems...

Here are some sweet photos from a few weeks back. Me and Ol' Hank went spearing / ice fishing with my brother Jesse and his son Eli. I was very surprised how long Henry was able to maintain decent behavior in a fishhouse. We lasted the better part of the day -- maybe five hours or so. My emergency ace-in-the-hole was a few Jolly Rancher suckers. He absolutely LOVES suckers and they incapacitate him for about twenty minutes. It's probably bad parenting, but it seems that some form of bribery is used in just about everything we do. Sometimes I don't even realize I am doing it...

In the photo above, you might notice Henry is gripping a full-sized PB & J. The wife packed a small cooler full of snacks meant for both of us including the aforementioned full-sized PB & J (intended for me), a smaller PB & J (intended for Henry, some juice, pop, crackers, raisins, a Slim Jim, what not... I do believe I ate the Slim Jim and Henry ate everything else. Henry almost fell down into the spear hole one time.

You might also notice his Bass Pro Shop hoodie. He thinks it is a special ice fishing garment. Anytime I offer it to him to wear he says "we goin' fishin' with uncle Jesse and Eli?"

There is something about seeing him in a hoodie and a ball cap that really makes him seem like a grown up little boy.

That's about five hours worth right there.

Doesn't everyone have a pair of ice tongs?

Here is Violet in her new coat and hat. It seems that there is an unspoken rule that all her stuff has to be pink or purple...

Violet with some minor head trauma from a tumble into dishwasher.

Henry started his pajamas on fire in the garage the other day. I guess I will have to keep better tabs on him when he comes out in the garage to help me "fix" stuff. Henry says he is helping me fix things but he will grab tools and run around all crazy and throw screwdrivers at the wall, stuff like that. I had a little propane heater going in the garage and Henry stumbled into it and it burned a little hole in his jammies. He was wearing a robust pair of those old school potty training undies, so I think that helped. This is an especially bad deal if you are married to someone whose first job out of college happened to be to set jammies on fire at a clothing testing facility. True story... so I kinda got yelled at for that. And really, aside from Henry almost falling through a hole in the ice, setting his jam jams on fire, and Violet gashing her forehead on the dishwasher, I am a monument to parenting excellence.

Last Friday the wife and I spent the evening like most decent Americans -- drinking and discussing the latest developments in the Britney Spears situation. I proposed a game were we would think of possible Spears headlines that would surprise us. The only one I could come up with was:

Spears Gangrenous Foot Amputated; World Looks on in Horror

Nothing else seemed out of the realm of possibility.