Fairmont or Bust / Busted in Fairmont

We recently went to beautiful Fairmont, Minnesota to visit Henry and Violet's great grandma Dina, who is recovering from a stroke. We drove down with Grandma Judy. We rolled five deep in the Honda Accord with Grandma Judy flanked by car seats on both sides. There were no major meltdowns on the way down. Our pit stop at the Dairy Queen in LeSeuer may have been our saving grace. It was a Brazier.

There was some of this...

And some of this...

Dina was in great spirits for our visit and Henry and Violet wasted no time in challenging her to a wheelchair race down the hall. I honestly don't remember who won.

We stayed at the Holiday Inn and it is the most exotic vacation we have yet to take as a family.

Violet thoroughly enjoyed herself in the pool.

There were only a handful of near death experiences in the kiddie pool under my watchful eye.

This was bedtime -- after I returned from dropping of Grandma Judy at Dina and George's house. I was given a ticket on the way back to the hotel for failure to display current registration and failure to provide proof of insurance. I was unaware that it was my duty to keep current vehicle tabs on the wife's vehicle and we had been driving with expired tabs for about five months. And I didn't know where the proof of insurance was. We were able to get that dropped. Anyhow, I wasn't about to let the stiff arm of the law ruin our exotic vacation.

Violet was pretty excited for Easter.


She quickly got the hang of the Easter Egg Hunt...

And was on an unadulterated sugar high for at least the next six hours. She ate all candy as fast as she could find it. She may have look disinterested and aloof but she has several peanut butter cups in her mouth in the photo below.

Henry got the hang of things pretty well too...


Living with a three and a half year old continues to be a never ending source of amusement and aggravation. The things that come out of Henry's mouth can astound and befuddle me all at the same time. Henry and I have been working on fixing the Subaru without success. I think it might be a lost cause. I have been unable to re-thread the spark plug that blew out a couple weeks back. The other day, I was working on the car and Henry was crawling around under the hood randomly hitting things with a ball-peen hammer. I was getting nowhere with what I was trying to accomplish when Henry turned to me and said matter-of-factly "Dad, this is pretty tough. We better do a high-five when we're done." He really comes through with some gems when I need them the most.

Henry is totally potty trained except that we normally have him wear a diaper at night. Lately, if we feel confident that he hasn't had to much to drink and went pee before bed we will just let him wear the big boy undies to bed. It didn't work out so hot one night. It must have been about 5:30AM or so when momma and I woke up to Henry's angry and confused screaming.

"WHO POURED WATER ALL OVER ME IN MY BED?!"

"WHY DID SOMEONE PUT WATER IN MY BED?!"

"MY CLOTHES AND BED ARE WET!! WHY?!"

He was screaming, hysterical and inconsolable for at least five minutes. I think momma and I had to try pretty hard not to bust out in giggles while tending to his emotional needs. It seemed to fall in line with his current stage.

Henry had an absolutely brilliant idea the other day. I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there. He was running around naked and I was trying to convince him to get dressed. I told him to put his underwear on and he said he wished that there were pants with built-in underwear like swim trunks. It blew me away. I waste at least twenty seconds ALMOST EVERY DAY putting on underwear and I'm guessing some people take even longer. He obviously has the mind of a truth seeker and pragmatist.

Henry was eating out of a box of Teddy Grahams the other day and pointed to a recipe for a smoothie on the box -- a container of yogurt, some applesauce, ice cubes, and a handful of Teddy Grahams. Not bad. He now calls it a "swirlie".

AREA YOUTH STABS SELF IN EYEBALL WITH BUTTER KNIFE, NOT KIDDING...

I really should be updating a little more frequently to keep up with current events. To say the past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride for the Johnson Family would be more than a modest understatement.

I guess the thing that sticks out most in my mind is that earlier this week Henry STABBED HIMSELF... IN THE EYEBALL... WITH A BUTTER KNIFE! None of that is an exaggeration. I was outside feeding the chickens and whatnot and came inside to see find my momma tending to our son with an eyeball wound. Apparently he was trying to cut an apple with his little butter knife and somehow he ended up stabbing his eyeball. Momma and I discussed a plan of action. I said let's wait it out and maybe put some frozen peas on it. Then they went to the ER. The doc gave him some ointment and said if it had been a quarter inch toward the business parts of his eye he would have been in serious trouble.

The photo doesn't really do it justice. If you look at it close up you can see the stab wound.

A wood whittler will always tell you rule #1 is to whittle away from your body. I guess the same logic applies to cutting up apples with a butter knife and you're never to young for that advice.

We refinanced our mortgage which is was pretty sweet, but then a couple days later I got a letter in the mail from the IRS! Not so sweet. My accountant goofed up on our 2008 tax return and it turns out we owe an extra thousand bucks. Oops. He said he'd cover the $56 dollars in penalties and interest though so I just have to cover the thousand dollars. Thanks buddy. The best part was when I got back in my car from the post office I opened the letter from the IRS and said a few swear words and threw it aside and started my trusty '92 Subaru Legacy (223,XXX miles) and it let out a REALLY loud bang. I thought the motor finally blew up. Turns out a spark plug just came unthreaded and shot out when I started it. I've been expecting the car to blow up for at least three years or so. I sometimes honestly can go a month of commuting without seeing a crappier vehicle on the freeway and I have also seen people openly snickering at me for what I can only guess is the general appearance of the old Subaru. It is so badly rusted that some of the body panels actually flap in the breeze as I amble down the freeway. Despite the lack of aerodynamics, the car routinely tops 35 mpg.

The children enjoyed their tradition of decorating Easter eggs over at Grandma Judy's.

Basically everything Violet does is adorable. Including this.

Last year Henry ended up crushing most of his Easter eggs because he would sit on them and roost. He has matured quite a bit since then.

Best Quote of the past few weeks: "Daddy, could you maybe get me a band-aid? I have blood leaking out of my body." Do you want Sponge Bob or Spidey?

This was a couple weeks ago -- Henry prancing around in my safety glasses that I stole from an old, old shop teacher at a middle school in Minneapolis back in the mid 90s. There must be some irony there somewhere.

Violet is totally off the nuks and we have basically banished sippy cups from the house. The nuk thing was a breeze. We did the same deal as we did with Henry -- snipped the ends off of some nuks. She quickly lost interest. The sippy cup situation affected both of them and has been kind of annoying with all the spills. On a random note: Henry is a staunch sweatpants enthusiast. He is Mr. Sweatpants. He says he likes them because they are soft and denim is to hard and crunchy on his body. One more note: He got his costume for his upcoming dance recital -- a red glitter vest!

I can now say from experience that having chickens in a kiddie pool in your basement for one month is enough to try a man's tolerances and thresholds. From what I have read, it is still a little early in these parts to be putting chicks outside in the coop but I put a heat lamp out there and they seem to be doing just fine. We found our chicken coop on craigslist. It is awesome. We haven't decided if we are going to leave it with it's rustic finish or paint it red and white like a barn. I kinda like it the way it is.



I still have to fence in a little run for them and tend to a few other things. The neighbor is setting me up with some free chicken feed in exchange for some eggs. I love the barter system.

Look at the guy in the back. He looks angry.

I actually bought this watering can right after we closed on our land knowing pretty well that at some point in the near future I would have some chickens. It took about three years or so.