Welcome to my ToddCast...

Todd is alive and well and living in a dilapidated former dog house. Todd likes carrot treats and fresh water. He is a special little guy.

Henry likes to pretend he is a lion. He is good at growling and freaking out.

Henry is OK at getting around in heels...

He could be better...

Speaking of sweet shoes, check out this little lady...

The other day I was letting Henry air dry for a spell since he had a wicked diaper rash. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a warm and wet sensation in the foot area.

"Henry, did you really just pee on my foot?"

"Yes, daddy..."

I was wearing new slippers and they got totally soaked. Whadda ya do?

Henry split his lip open last week. He tripped and fell face first on the garage floor. I didn't actually see him fall but I heard a solid thud and could tell it was kinda bad. He looked up, already crying and and blood coming out of his mouth. I thought maybe he had chipped or knocked out some toofums. Luckily, it was just a split lip. He was OK after a few minutes. I think Ma and Pa were more traumatized. He is always running around all crazy. His shins are always completely black and blue and scratched up. That's what little boys do, right?

Henry has a new buddy, Alan Wu. He is a cute young chap from China and was recently adopted by a friend and coworker of my wife. I guess Henry was a bit jealous of his John Deere and Bob the Builder stuff.

Momma was away for Girls Weekend last weekend. So, I was home all by my lonesome with the babies while my wife drank Zima, ate deviled eggs and played "tickle fight" with her lady friends, or so they claim. Poor, poor me...

On Saturday Grammy Judy was kind enough to watch the kids for a while while a friend helped me pour our sidewalk, a driveway apron, and a small patio slab. It turned out pretty sweet -- we stamped it with a cobblestone pattern. As a side note, we had a guy help us that has one adult movie "acting" credit to his name.

Siding is supposed to be delivered this week!

My shower tile guy told me he is starting this week for real!

Henry's new favorite line before bed: "ONE MORE BOOK, DADDY!"

He loves Ten Little Monkeys and simply cannot get enough of it. He watched Dumbo this past week and really loved it.

I Guess I Need to Fill Everyone in on the Todd Situation...

It seemed like the logical next step -- the natural progression of things to be. I have since been instructed that these things are supposed to be discussed in family meetings and put to a vote... I say balderdash! Utter poppycock... So, now we have a goat. His name is Todd and he is pretty frickin' sweet. Henry and I returned with Todd in tow. Julie ran out onto the porch seeing the dog crate in our trailer and thought that I decided to bring our pooch in to get a bath (I guess that is no less of a Friday evening activity that goat buying, but whatever.). But then Todd let out his war cry and all hell broke loose. "What the hell is that?" Then I had to answer a bunch of rapid fire questions from a confused and upset wife who was about to be picked up by her lady friend Crystal for a ladies night out of mohitos and Coronas at Tiki Steve's in Lindstrom. I guess I really caught her off guard.

Who: TODD!

What: Our new Boer goat, he's a three month old billy! That means he has his testes intact!

Where: We got him off of Craigslist, of course... $30.00. I have to say that I exhibited some restraint considering that the goat people were trying their hardest to upsell (we'll give you a deal on a pair) and even wanted to sell me some chickens and African geese (apparently they are great "watchdogs", to which I guessed meant "will you take these loud sonsabitches away from here for $8 each?")

When: Friday afternoon I was browsing the Craigslist Farm & Garden section as I have been secretly doing for a while to power up my operation and I came across an ad for goats located pretty close to our house (maybe ten minutes away or so). I got home from work and told momma that me and Henry had to run an errand before she went out for the evening for ladies night... I guess she didn't see me leave with the trailer and our very large dog kennel, a sight in the future that will likely raise a "red flag".

Henry is into it. Whenever we go check on Todd he says "Henry get in there!" and I throw him in the goat pen and he hangs with Todd. Who the heck am I to deny a child the basic human right of the pursuit of joy and happiness through animal husbandry? Henry also says "two babies" referring to Violet and Todd. I guess Violet is just a "throw in" with the livestock in his eyes. I also make Henry do chores with me in the morning which basically entails taking a four wheeler ride with a bucket full of water, filling Todd's water dish and talking about Todd for a few minutes. We also can give him table scraps and what not.

So Henry and I went to a little hobby farm in Stacy to check out the goat. They had four goats, two boers and two pygmy crosses (little guys). They were pushing the pygmys but I thought it might be a good idea to get a youngster without (hopefully) less baggage. Boers are a meat breed. Right after I paid and put Henry in his car seat and was about to leave the goat seller said "Yeah if yer gonna eat 'em, you'll wanna get 'em started on some corn..." I told her we'd see how things pan out before we make that decision but I'm guessing we are not going to eat Todd.

Julie came back a bit tipsy from Tiki Steve's and fortunately had lightened up about the whole Todd situation. I guess she had regaled her friends with Todd jokes: We can't eat him... how does spaghetti and Toddballs sound?? How about some Todd burgers?? Todd Mignon with fava beans and an elegant sauce?? Pasta al dente with Todd?? The jokes were non-stop... She was a regular Don Rickles of goat humor.

I should think not. But Todd, watch your ass, because the possibility is out there.

So, that is the weekend adventure regarding Todd. I spent a 100 degree Saturday afternoon putting up 100 lineal feet of fencing for a goat instead of working on the house. Go figure.

Henry and Violet both slept through the night last night from about 8:30. It was very nice. We watched the movie The Squid and the Whale, a pretty enjoyable movie.

I don't know what Henry is doing in this picture but it looks sinister.

Violet gives us a half-smile as she works hard to fill her pants.

I think this picture was pre-Todd (PT). Henry likes making calls on his fake cellular. When asked, he usually says he is calling Jo-Jo, an old daycare buddy from months ago. He will walk around the house holding the phone up to his ear and will let go with a stream of consciousness toddler rant. He will basically look around and say whatever he sees "umm tree! um, um shoe! um, BOB!" That sort of thing.

In conclusion, both of our kids are pretty great, we got a goat, and I am hoping to start on the siding in a week or two or three. Also, I will try to call a meeting before making any more livestock purchases.

There is a new saying in our house: If you mess with Todd, you get the horns.

Gondolas, Gargonzola, & Chet the Gondolier...

Seepy, seepy... pink footie jam-jams... Violet continues to be a pretty special baby. She has been battling constipation lately since we switched formula brands on her. We've been giving her prune juice. Somehow, through it all, she is still a lady.

Henry loves to eat cereal with his shirt off. The other morning I tried giving him a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and he said "no-no daddy. Listen cereal." My newly developed toddlerspeak translation skills told me he did not want Honey Nut Cheerios. He wanted Rice Krispies. Whenever we give him a bowl of Rice Krispies we always say "Wow, listen to the snap, crackle, pop!" So he calls it "listen cereal". Pure genius...

Last nite was Julie's birthday and our four year wedding anniversary. I booked us a ride on the St. Croix River in an authentic Venetian gondola. (Note: In the photo above Julie clipped her bangs to look like Rory Gilmore circa final season.) Luckily, the weather cooperated and we had a fabulous time. I packed a small cooler with two PBRs for me (hey, it's my special day too...) and two Coronitas for her. Our gondolier, Chet, even serenaded us with an Italian love song. This is Chet! We had a nice dinner at Luna Rossa afterward (also fabulous - she had the beef medallions smothered in a gargonzola sauce, I had the filet mignon with a glass of the house cabernet). Grammy Judy was kind enough to accept babysitting duty for our special evening on a grown-ups only date.

Our soffits and fascia are done, giving me one less excuse not to have the siding done... The tile for our shower should allegedly get done next week! So my european hygiene regimen will continue for now... a bath every few days. I bet you needed to know that stuff...