Fists of Fury & The Gift of Beard

The weekend before Christmas we has three family Christmas get-togethers. The weather was super crappy and traffic was even worse. But it was nice to get all the travelling out of the way so we could stay local and relax a bit more over the next week. Henry and Violet were, of course, super spoiled and got like a bazillion presents from everyone.

Henry checks out a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles kit he was given from Uncle Sam. It included a mask, sword and throwing stars. Note: My thick and luxurious beard.

I spent the past month cultivating a beard which was converted to a moustache immediately after Christmas. It was an amazing odyssey but I have since shaved. I am open to comments and what have you regarding the different facial hair scenarios.

Question: What is the only thing better than getting a pair of Hulk Smash Hands for Christmas?

Answer: Getting two pair.

In the true spirit of Christmas, we all took turns beating the crap out of each other with our new Hulk Smash Hands.

Below, my wicked left jab renders Henry temporarily dazed as his neck snaps back from the sheer force of the blow.

We posed for a family photo at Jesse and Brandi's.

Note to parents: I have learned that you can't trust a three-year-old alone with a fresh roll of tape or a new tube of toothpaste. Henry looks like a mutant cross between Ted Kennedy and the older brother from E.T. with his crazy tape face.

This is my son.

Violet loves Dora.

Over the past month we had convinced Henry that we maintain direct contact with Santa. Whenever Henry started acting turdy, I would pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry Henry, but I am gonna have to call Santa and tell him about your extreme behavior". I even called a couple of times using a Redd Foxx-type voice and pretended to be Santa. We had Henry walking a pretty straight for most of December using deception and skullduggery.

But we did let them have Reese's Pieces for breakfast Christmas morning that were left in their stockings from Santa. Violet is still pretty jazzed about her new Dora slippers. Footie Jammies!

Violet and I practice our high kicks as we enjoy a snack of croutons.

Violet also got a keyboard from Santa. She can already play Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue.

Violet was given a little cottage playhouse with an oven and a bunch of kitchen stuff. She is also now the proud parent to THREE Cabbage Patch Kids. She tucks two of them in at night in a box and sleeps with one of them. Here is Violet flashing some gang signs.

Violet and Papa...
Me and Henry also managed to get out with Uncle Jesse and do a little darkhouse spearing... We even got one after a couple hours on Sunday afternoon. I learned Henry has an insatiable appetite for chocolate milk. He was relatively well behaved but almost fell in the spear hole once.

He passed out about 30 seconds after I got him in the truck...

Pretty Darn Festive

This would be our second annual family photo at Sandgren's Tree Farm. Same as last year, we met my brother and his family (minus Zoie) to find a tree. Last year we went with a HUGE fir tree. This year we went with a modest white pine and it went really smooth. No fuss, no muss. No swearing, no chainsaws in the house. Easy peasy, Patrick Sweezy.

Henry and Eli try to haul a tree.

Me & Jesse haul our trees and Brandi hauls Jada and Violet.

After last years monstrosity of a tree, this little guy was a welcome change. Big trees are a total pain -- hard to get through the door, hard to set up, no good.

Violet seems to be going through a phase where she hates to wear clothes. I've been kind of impressed that she has the dexterity to get totally undressed. Her new nickname is "Nudity Jones". Hopefully, it doesn't stick.

Festive and more lady-like...

Here is the tree all decorated. Is Violet not huge? Does she not look almost the size of Henry in this photo?

Violet is saying new words everyday. She has a few two word sentences. We look at picture books with her and she can identify a bunch of stuff when prompted. Tonight, we were having dinner and she looked around and yelled "DADDY, MOMMY, HENNY!" She will sing in the rhythm of the ABC's but make up different sounds. Every once in while she will hit a vowel on time.

Henry continues to dazzle us with his artistic abilities and his mastery of all forms of dance. This morning, he wanted to take the yellow dishwashing gloves, the bottle washer thingie, and a pan scrubber to daycare as toys. I said no. Henry is also very interested in helping out in the kitchen. He is excited to learn how to make stuff. He helped mama make cookies last week and learned how to make a pot of coffee (sort of).

A few nights back he busted his lip open pretty good from jumping on the bed. He smashed into Violet's head and he bled all over.

No goat casualties. They seem to be enjoying their new house and doing very well overall. Dolly and Kenny continue to gain acceptance from Drama and Vince. It's tricky sometimes but at the end of the day it seems like they are all on the same team. I think next spring the obvious next step is to buy an intact male goat and let Dolly start a family.

Turkey Day & Chicken Feet

This was our second year hosting Thanksgiving. The turkey situation went much smoother this year but I would say there is still room for improvement. I proudly donned late Grandma Pauline's apron while carving up the turkey.

For over two years we have been enjoying movies and our favorite programs on a modest twelve inch TV set. Since we were hosting for Thanksgiving, I came up with the brilliant idea to make a TV upgrade. I'm only half joking when I say that upgrading to a 40" Sony LCD HDTV 1080p was the most meaningful experience in my life since the birth of my children. It's pretty sweet. Although sometimes the Hi-Def aspect is a bit over the top and John Madden in HD is downright hideous. Below is a picture of our actual TV -- Brad Pitt on Access Hollywood.

Chicken Feet! Sometimes I think that Henry is a natural comedic genius. He came up with this all on his own. He steals momma's yellow dishwashing gloves from under the sink, puts them on his feet and runs around and yells "CHICKEN FEET! I GOT CHICKEN FEET!"

We enjoyed a very fun and relaxing four day Thanksgiving weekend. It was just the right mix of family time and lazing about and chopping and stacking firewood. We really didn't even have to leave the house except for a brief trip to Target for some early Christmas shoppin'. We got Henry the Bat Cave. So don't get Henry a Bat Cave. Momma wanted to take the relaxation factor up a notch and give Henry and Dad facial masks. I'd like to say that it wasn't quite as gay as it sounds. I would like to, but I cannot.

Violet insisted on updating her fall wardrobe with a few key pieces.

Violet is surprisingly able at kicking stuff. This picture is not magic, nor smoke and mirrors. It is my daughter kicking a ball with skill and dexterity.

Here is a pretty cute one of Momma & Violet...