Healthy White Toddler For Sale: $15 / Best Offer

It is currently impossible for science to quantify or accurately measure elegance. However, in the future, if science can find a way to accomplish such a feat, I am pretty sure it will somehow involve this photo.

Henry is beginning to show a real flair for the arts. Channeling his intrigue for Mr. Rogers into his Warhol phase has produced his latest masterpiece: "Rogers in Spectravision!". As a medium, he excels at screen printing.

I think this is Violet's first bath in the new house! (Note the Aberdeen by Moen in Oil Rubbed Bronze kitchen faucet.)

STUNNA!! Check out Lil' Vi in her party dress. We took her out for an afternoon cruise on the Upper St. Croix River on my brothers houseboat, The Mrs. Valdez. We forgot our camera and subsequently missed out on several very good photo opportunities. Here is an old photo of the Valdez in dry dock. It should be noted that significant remodelling has taken place since the photo was taken.

Here is a wax sculpture of Mr. Rogers that Henry recently completed called "Hey Rogers, You're Invading my Comfort Zone."

Henry is a complete firecracker. He is almost two and can be terrible. We moved into our new house and decided it was time to transition Henry into the toddler bed. I think the combination of new house and new bed was a bit overwhelming. He did not cotton to the toddler bed so much. First, we decided since he can open our lever style door knobs that it would be best for everyone if I switched around the knobs so we could lock him in his room when he is sleeping at night. Does that sound bad? We thought it was mostly a safety issue since we didn't want him crawling out of bed and stumbling down the stairs or some other such tragedy. The first night after we tucked him in he got out of bed and starts pounding on the door and saying things like "DADDDDDY! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYYY??!!" and "NO NAPS!!" and DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU?" We decided to execute plan B for temporary relief. Plan B was to put him in the pack'n'play (This whole transition started because Violet was sleeping in a bassinet and we wanted to let her start sleeping in the crib so we had o figure out something). We discovered the hard way that he can escape from the pack'n' play. All we heard was a huge THUD. Judging from the goose egg over his eye, I have to guess that it was his head slamming into the wood floor in his room. After that, we decided the twelve inch fall from the toddler bed was a better deal than Hank the Tank taking Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka flying leaps from the top rope of his pack'n'play. We also decided lots of rugs and padding surrounding the bed were in order. I think he gets his sleeping habits from me. He is a violent sleeper and thrashes and moves around alot.

In light of recent events, Henry has actually been much more of handful than eight-week-old Tiny Elegance. Violet has slept through the night a couple times now. Sweet relief for the Johnson Family.

Henry also says "Dang it!". I'm not sure if he knows what he is saying but he seems to occansionally use it in context. Not cool.

He got some some "big boy undies" a while back. We thought Bob the Builder undies might get him geared up for potty training but he has figured out a way to circumvent to whole process and just puts on his big boy undies over his diaper -- offering the sophistication and dignity of the big boy underpant while preserving the function and utility of the diaper. The best of both worlds...

As I mentioned, we moved into our new house. It is bittersweet since we are still basically living out of suitcases because we aren't totally done yet and don't want to move in and arrange furniture and crap until we are seriously done. The inside is mostly done. Siding is the big "to do" yet. And a million other little things.

We have two toilets hooked up and our clawfoot tub is functional now. Radical. Let me tell you, I have no idea why these clawfoot delights ever fell out of favor. Ergonomically shaped for soaking and relaxation.

Grandma Judy graciously agreed to watch the kids this past Saturday evening so we could celebrate Karl Oscar Days with the citizenry of Lindstrom and the greater Chisago Lakes Area. For the uninitiated, Karl Oscar Days is a local custom celebrating the eradicatiion of Norwegians from the area in the 1880s with 2 for 1 Grain Belt Premiums and country western music at the Lindstrom Municipal Bar.