Just a Little off the Top?

Somehow, we got the idea that Henry needed a haircut. It was getting a little shaggy. Normally, we just take him to Poik's and that's it. But we decided that in these economic times that maybe a good way to save $12 every three months would be to do the haircuts ourselves. I volunteered my barber services for this experimental procedure. Momma quickly realized it was an event that needed to be documented for a number of reasons and grabbed the camera.

Back in the late 1980s, I used to shave lightning bolts and such into the heads of friends in the name fashion and team spirit, so I figured I was up to the task. Besides, I had seen this done many, many times. I know that people who cut hair for a living kinda hold the hair in between their fingers and cut uniform lengths off. See below? I thought I had it. Apparently, there's more to it than that. I now know that I lack the patience and vision of a barber or hairstylist. Henry isn't even four yet and he realized that this whole operation was SNAFU from the beginning...

It wasn't long before I resorted to the clippers.

By this time my I was basically in sheep shearing mode -- just hold him down and get it done. At this moment Henry wasn't thinking about his new glow in the dark Spiderman undies...

For less than the price of a twelve pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon YOU can prevent this abomination of decency. Donate NOW to the Henry James Hair Fund.

We told him he looked really awesome but he was self conscious about it -- enough so that he refused to take of his stocking cap for dance class. He seems to have adjusted to now. And he takes pride in that he now looks like a ringer for his cousin Eli.

Henry is like a little marauding bear in the kitchen pantry. He has an uncanny ability to nose out unhealthy snacks. I swear we do dress the kids every day.

We got this beautiful little rocking horse from Great Grandma Evi. Both of the kids have already taken a liking to it. Violet rides it like a cute toddler would. Henry rides it like a rented mule.

Violet had her 18 month checkup a few weeks ago. She tipped the scales at 25.02 pounds (52%) and is 35 inches tall (99%). I don't recall her exact head circumference measurement but it was 74%. She now wears a men's size 9 sneaker. Just kidding about the last part but she is growing so fast. Overall, it appears that she is destined to be a tall and skinny knockout with a slightly larger than average head circumference... just like her momma. Violet and momma enjoy painting their toenails and doing facial masks.

Violet's vocabulary is growing so fast. She says "baba boo" for Grandpa Bruce. She is also learning to climb onto the dining room chairs and stools in the kitchen.

I finally found Violet a nice outfit from a thrift store ($10 at Unique Thrift on Rice and Larpentuer). It's insulated and really ornate. A little bit more than I would normally spend on a kids outfit but I thought it was ok. This one is called "Crouching Tiger".

Since she started wearing her new outfit she has learned to avoid Henry's quick sword strikes with simple, efficient movements and mind power.

Dad was gone last week on the annual spearing / ice fishing trip (34 below!). Henry took over as man of the house and slept on the threshold of our bedroom to protect momma from intruders.

Fists of Fury & The Gift of Beard

The weekend before Christmas we has three family Christmas get-togethers. The weather was super crappy and traffic was even worse. But it was nice to get all the travelling out of the way so we could stay local and relax a bit more over the next week. Henry and Violet were, of course, super spoiled and got like a bazillion presents from everyone.

Henry checks out a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles kit he was given from Uncle Sam. It included a mask, sword and throwing stars. Note: My thick and luxurious beard.

I spent the past month cultivating a beard which was converted to a moustache immediately after Christmas. It was an amazing odyssey but I have since shaved. I am open to comments and what have you regarding the different facial hair scenarios.

Question: What is the only thing better than getting a pair of Hulk Smash Hands for Christmas?

Answer: Getting two pair.

In the true spirit of Christmas, we all took turns beating the crap out of each other with our new Hulk Smash Hands.

Below, my wicked left jab renders Henry temporarily dazed as his neck snaps back from the sheer force of the blow.

We posed for a family photo at Jesse and Brandi's.

Note to parents: I have learned that you can't trust a three-year-old alone with a fresh roll of tape or a new tube of toothpaste. Henry looks like a mutant cross between Ted Kennedy and the older brother from E.T. with his crazy tape face.

This is my son.

Violet loves Dora.

Over the past month we had convinced Henry that we maintain direct contact with Santa. Whenever Henry started acting turdy, I would pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry Henry, but I am gonna have to call Santa and tell him about your extreme behavior". I even called a couple of times using a Redd Foxx-type voice and pretended to be Santa. We had Henry walking a pretty straight for most of December using deception and skullduggery.

But we did let them have Reese's Pieces for breakfast Christmas morning that were left in their stockings from Santa. Violet is still pretty jazzed about her new Dora slippers. Footie Jammies!

Violet and I practice our high kicks as we enjoy a snack of croutons.

Violet also got a keyboard from Santa. She can already play Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue.

Violet was given a little cottage playhouse with an oven and a bunch of kitchen stuff. She is also now the proud parent to THREE Cabbage Patch Kids. She tucks two of them in at night in a box and sleeps with one of them. Here is Violet flashing some gang signs.

Violet and Papa...
Me and Henry also managed to get out with Uncle Jesse and do a little darkhouse spearing... We even got one after a couple hours on Sunday afternoon. I learned Henry has an insatiable appetite for chocolate milk. He was relatively well behaved but almost fell in the spear hole once.

He passed out about 30 seconds after I got him in the truck...

Pretty Darn Festive

This would be our second annual family photo at Sandgren's Tree Farm. Same as last year, we met my brother and his family (minus Zoie) to find a tree. Last year we went with a HUGE fir tree. This year we went with a modest white pine and it went really smooth. No fuss, no muss. No swearing, no chainsaws in the house. Easy peasy, Patrick Sweezy.

Henry and Eli try to haul a tree.

Me & Jesse haul our trees and Brandi hauls Jada and Violet.

After last years monstrosity of a tree, this little guy was a welcome change. Big trees are a total pain -- hard to get through the door, hard to set up, no good.

Violet seems to be going through a phase where she hates to wear clothes. I've been kind of impressed that she has the dexterity to get totally undressed. Her new nickname is "Nudity Jones". Hopefully, it doesn't stick.

Festive and more lady-like...

Here is the tree all decorated. Is Violet not huge? Does she not look almost the size of Henry in this photo?

Violet is saying new words everyday. She has a few two word sentences. We look at picture books with her and she can identify a bunch of stuff when prompted. Tonight, we were having dinner and she looked around and yelled "DADDY, MOMMY, HENNY!" She will sing in the rhythm of the ABC's but make up different sounds. Every once in while she will hit a vowel on time.

Henry continues to dazzle us with his artistic abilities and his mastery of all forms of dance. This morning, he wanted to take the yellow dishwashing gloves, the bottle washer thingie, and a pan scrubber to daycare as toys. I said no. Henry is also very interested in helping out in the kitchen. He is excited to learn how to make stuff. He helped mama make cookies last week and learned how to make a pot of coffee (sort of).

A few nights back he busted his lip open pretty good from jumping on the bed. He smashed into Violet's head and he bled all over.

No goat casualties. They seem to be enjoying their new house and doing very well overall. Dolly and Kenny continue to gain acceptance from Drama and Vince. It's tricky sometimes but at the end of the day it seems like they are all on the same team. I think next spring the obvious next step is to buy an intact male goat and let Dolly start a family.

Turkey Day & Chicken Feet

This was our second year hosting Thanksgiving. The turkey situation went much smoother this year but I would say there is still room for improvement. I proudly donned late Grandma Pauline's apron while carving up the turkey.

For over two years we have been enjoying movies and our favorite programs on a modest twelve inch TV set. Since we were hosting for Thanksgiving, I came up with the brilliant idea to make a TV upgrade. I'm only half joking when I say that upgrading to a 40" Sony LCD HDTV 1080p was the most meaningful experience in my life since the birth of my children. It's pretty sweet. Although sometimes the Hi-Def aspect is a bit over the top and John Madden in HD is downright hideous. Below is a picture of our actual TV -- Brad Pitt on Access Hollywood.

Chicken Feet! Sometimes I think that Henry is a natural comedic genius. He came up with this all on his own. He steals momma's yellow dishwashing gloves from under the sink, puts them on his feet and runs around and yells "CHICKEN FEET! I GOT CHICKEN FEET!"

We enjoyed a very fun and relaxing four day Thanksgiving weekend. It was just the right mix of family time and lazing about and chopping and stacking firewood. We really didn't even have to leave the house except for a brief trip to Target for some early Christmas shoppin'. We got Henry the Bat Cave. So don't get Henry a Bat Cave. Momma wanted to take the relaxation factor up a notch and give Henry and Dad facial masks. I'd like to say that it wasn't quite as gay as it sounds. I would like to, but I cannot.

Violet insisted on updating her fall wardrobe with a few key pieces.

Violet is surprisingly able at kicking stuff. This picture is not magic, nor smoke and mirrors. It is my daughter kicking a ball with skill and dexterity.

Here is a pretty cute one of Momma & Violet...

The Henry James Quote Machine...

Henry was on the toilet last night exorcising some demons when he yelled "Hey mama, you gotta check this out. This is NOT cool."

That's always alarming to hear from a three year old who has sequestered himself in the bathroom for about ten minutes.

He had a little bout of the runs. Poor guy.

Lightning in a Bottle

We recently bought a new tabletop radio / ipod dock for the kitchen. This has lead to a dance revolution in our house. Henry often feels compelled to remove his shirt while dancing. Here is forty-seven seconds of lightning in a bottle as Henry does a free form dance to Hasil Adkins "Chicken Walk". A couple minutes after this film was taken Henry had to abruptly be put in time out as he delivered a savage heart punch to Violet as she innocently ambled by. He incorporates a lot of kung fu and elaborate hand movement to his dance steps and I guess he just got carried away.

Momma bought the kids some costumes on clearance after Halloween...

Grandma Judy babysat the kids overnight so we could head up to Duluth for a wedding. Here's momma looking ravishing in her new Steve Madden Moon Boots.

Here's momma with her posse -- The Raging Unicorns.

Is this Beth McDonough's breakfast buffet or was it our table at the wedding? Hmmmm...

Tim & myself sharing a candid moment after one and a half glasses of chardonnay.

Violet goes for the new "Baglady Chic" look that is all the rage.

Greetings From America's Dairyland!

Oy. Got a little behind there... Time to catch up.

We took our first family road trip with both kids a few weeks ago to visit our friends Stacey & Jeremy in Madison. We were a little anxious about bringing both kids on a long trip and trying to mix in kid fun and adult fun but everything went really smooth and we had a really good time. The drive out there kind of went like this...

For some reason I busted out laughing every time I looked back at Violet sleeping with her little lips and double chin.

We stopped in Menomonie to look at a couple of our college houses and be nostalgic. Then it was off to Madison. For a long freeway drive you can't beat the scenery and rolling farm land of Central Wisconsin. One of the highlights of our visit was the farmer's market in Madison -- the largest in the country. It stretches for blocks around the state capital.

We took a brief tour of the capital building and I can tell you that Henry urinated all over the pristine marble tile floor of the state capital. All in a day's work for this young chap...

Mmmmm.... Donuts...

They pretty much have everything that you could possibly imagine there and a whole lot more, including a respectable contingent of street musicians. I won't even get into the cheese thing but I will just say that they have that covered too. We came home with a variety of cheeses, a big ole' thingie of brussel sprouts the size of a small Christmas tree, and two sixers of a Madison micro brew -- Hopalicious it's called.

We also went to Ella's Deli & Ice Cream Parlor ,which may be the best restaurant in the world for three year olds. You might just have to check out the website. They have a whole bunch of animated and motorized displays of superheroes and miscellaneous kid's stuff made of paper mache that go back and forth on trolley lines across the ceiling. There is a Beatles diorama and a tribute to the Green Bay Packers. Most of the tables had glass tops with stuff underneath like Pez dispensers and baseball cards -- that kind of stuff. The chocolate malts were elegant, although I was disappointed that they didn't give you the little extra left over in the metal cup which is customary elsewhere. I wish you could see the ceilings... Here's Violet. The woman can flat out eat. I had a cherry coke and an open-faced Reuben sandwich that was both challenging and delightful all at once.

But the kicker was the carousel. Here's mama and Violet.

Mama was flabbergasted that I let Henry have his own horse and judging from the look on Henry's face, I think he was surprised also. Jeremy looks on as I hold Henry's had for balance and reassurance purposes.

Henry has dance class with Grandma Sue on Tuesdays. The Tuesday before Halloween was an open house for the parents and the kids were urged to wear their costumes. The night was filled with comedy both intentional and unintentional. Unfortunately, the pictures turned out a bit dark. I don't recall the exact name of the maneuver. However, below is a photo of Henry in mid-stride mastering a complicated step in his soft ballet shoes and Batman costume.


Henry mugs for the camera as Grandma Sue puts the class through the paces...

Henry had to be separated from this guy once because they are total trouble makers when they sit next to each other. Below, they discuss dance and general skulduggery.

Halloween night - We gave the kids some festive cupcakes. It seems like a post a picture like this about every two weeks. The messy eating pictures never get old.

One day a couple weeks back I had a day of a bunch of driving around out to St. Joseph and over to East Jesus and back so I decided to take Henry along with me so he could get a feel for the gig and spend a day with his pa like old times. On the way back to the office from St. Joseph we were able to stop and see Great Grandma Evi for a while for a cup of coffee and a visit. Henry and I decided to wear matching business attire which amused my wife to no end. It was a business casual revolution.

Here is the assembled cousin posse on Halloween. We drove out to our folks places and then out to a nearby subdivision for trick or treating.

This guy was really festive about Halloween and had his yard all tricked out stuff. He offered me and my brother a beer, which was thoughtful. Henry got all amped up on suckers.

Here is Henry with cousin Jada...

We don't really use the baby gate anymore. Violet has subsequently mastered the stairs and now walks up the stairs with her ultra long body using the railing like a big girl... She must be having a little growth spurt because everyone has been commenting on what a huge beast she is.